Sshhhhh! Just leeesten.

Today I learned, then relearned a lesson.

Sometimes I just need to be silent.

This lesson is a toughy for me because I can get really excited/energized/passionate [bossy…] about conversations easily.  This leads to me talking too much and not hearing those around me, or even worse, not letting those around me have a voice.

This morning I put my foot in my mouth (to borrow a phrase from a friend).  I worked on a project with a partner and when my fellow student asked me about it, I snapped back unnecessarily.  I later apologized and he was very kind about it, but I still feel emotionally hungover from it.  The conversation between us could have been so much more kind with a little silence in it.  

Student: “Hey Courtney, do you have our project?”
Me: Pause, think to self be thoughtful / honest / intelligent / necessary / kind.
Me: “Yeah, I turned it in, but it is on the front table if you’d like to take a look”
BOOM! It would be quick, done, simple and nice.

Instead it went like this….

Student: “Hey Courtney, do you have our project?”
Me: Snarl-Snarl-snotty look-Passive aggression.
(so that wasn’t exactly what I said, but I think it sums it up.)
The Universe knew I needed to review this particular lesson again.
Later, a friend was making a joke.  A joke that IF I had quieted myself to hear the end of, I would have realized it ended in a very kind way.
Key word…IF.
Clearly, I did not choose to hear the end of the joke, but unleashed a high pitched squall of upset reaction upon him.
An hour or so later, I was showered and felt that I needed to talk to him about it.  I called him and told him how the joke made me feel.  It made me sad.  
Then something magical happened.
I realized my part.
Part of the way through my speech on my feelings, I realized that I interrupted him.  I spoke over him and didn’t let him speak for himself.  
So I apologized.  Genuinely.  And we had a wonderful conversation where he said very nice things and finished his original story that I had interrupted earlier.  
Seriously.  Magical.
I got to hear what my friend was saying, learn more about myself, and am going to go to sleep tonight with a lighter heart because I got to apologize for my inappropriate actions.  
To put it clearly:
Before, I felt like this.
Now, I am starting to feel more like this.
And guess who gets a better night’s rest?  
[ i am seeing a flaw in that logic right now due to the fact that i am not nocturnal and sunshine occurs in the day….please disregard this fact for now ]
The answer is LM Sunshine…err, well, me after listening a little.  
Plus, I chatter away on this blog a whooooole lot.  So, I can afford to listen more during the day.


2 thoughts on “Sshhhhh! Just leeesten.

  1. I love those tricky little lessons. Life sure does get us sometimes. I don't know how many times I feel "emotionally hungover" from something I'd done.. and the magical remedy nearly every time is reflection, apologies, and understanding. Way to go, Court! and thanks for reminding me to listen.Bre (your long lost cousin)

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