Thoughts from a smokey / sleepy mind

I woke up smelling smoke this morning. By this morning I mean about 2:30 AM. I realized the power was off and woke up John.

We searched for the source of the smoke and he was the first to realize that it was glowing outside. The hill behind our home was flickering and lit chunks of debris and ash flew through the
wind into the yard.

I frantically called 911, shoved things in a backpack and changed into not pajamas. I bagged some of zoeys food and we got out. We took a deep breath in the house and ran to the car. It sounded like roaring outside.

Now, still coming off the edge of my (fully functioning) fight or flight response, I am laying in a bed, not mine, and thinking about how blessed I am.

Here are a couple of reasons why:

I woke up to the smoke. We didn’t lay there sleeping, inhaling smoke, passing time that we could be using to get clear headed and get out.

I had a flashlight like right there. A couple of weeks ago I realized I didnt have one. I wanted one for walking zoey in the morning when it is still dark out. I searched the house and found nothing so I asked my dad if he had any extras. He gave me two. I put one in my car and brought the other into the house. It had been standing on my bathroom counter. Like a little soldier waiting for duty. This morning, while I was scared and sleepy, I had that flashlight in my hand after about one second.

John was calm and cool. As I said earlier, I was frantic. I’m still not sure what I shoved into my backpack. I was talking a mile a minute, breathing super fast and pacing as I pulled stuff and packed it. He stopped me, reminded me what was important and said everything else could be replaced if anything happened. Then he drove us to a warm, safe place to ride out the storm.

If my home burns down and so does everything with it, I know it’ll be okay. This week’s Modern Family was about family’s home burning. The December issue of Real Simple featured stories about women going through difficulties during the holidays and being okay. One of the stories was about a womans home burning down. I read it before I went to bed last night. The ends of the show and the stories ended the same, life continued and everyone was alright.

The good stuff can’t burn. As I lay here wondering about my home, reading fire updated online, wishing I could sleep; I am comforted by the fact that I have the love, support and friendship of the people in my life, who are all safe. That is what matters.

So I’ll just lay here until the sun comes up. And then you know what I’m goin to do? I’m going to try to do exactly what I would anyways. I can’t change the fire, I can’t control it. I can just take care of myself. And zoey ❤

I’m not too sure if this makes any sense, I’m very tired and pretty worn out. But it felt good getting it out.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Johns Mama’s

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