Frosty the Snowman

I am not a snowman.

Odd fact I know, but it needs to be said.  Sometimes I forget this.

Sometimes I go about my day with a frozen shell, shooting dark looks through my beady coal eyeballs, pissed off because the carrot I have in my face is not allowing me to smell anything good (okay, that one is a stretch).  The point is, I can get real pissed off and feel like I hate everything.  And everyone.

Example 1:
[image source: http://michellehenninger.blogspot.com/2008/12/mean-snowman.html%5D

Today, I have been real snowmanny…snowmanish…snowmanlike…Well.  I’ve been a real snowmanasshole.

No cheery barista or puppy smiles could shake it, my cold attitude was resilient.  I left my house, hell bent on escaping my crankiness, this however does not work.  I should add, this never works.  It turns out, my attitude comes with me. Always.

So I fled to Starbucks where I glared my way through my order, complained on the phone to Toyota because they filled my tires with air and not nitrogen (gasp! how dare they?!!?! …)  and sat down to not enjoy my coffee, not feel grateful for my day, not be relaxed and feel generally pitiful.

So all went according to plan, I think I may have even infected some baristas with my bad attitude.

Then something happened.  It was real small.

I signed on to the free Starbucks wifi and they gave me a free holiday song download.  So I downloaded it.  And I drank my coffee and felt myself melting.

Not wicked witch melting (which would have been appropriate due to my demeanor), but little kid in the Campbell’s soup commercial melting.  I melted until I no longer felt cold, just a little chilly and some reason was allowed back into my mind.

Example 2:
How funny is it that something so little can make such a big difference.  That free little song download (plus some kind and funny facebook comments) really perked me up and made me realize how silly I was acting.
It is easy for me to get into that snowfunk.  Luckily today, I was wise enough to turn off my phone before I took out my crabbypants on someone else via text message.  Unlike the snowman above, soup does not cure my coldness.  I have to shake myself out of it, realize what I am doing and think about it. Then I have to be nice to myself.  Give myself a little love to lift me out of it.  Today, I took a break from studying and wrote this blog.  I am going to work a bit longer then maybe look for a Christmas gift.  And I am going to smile.  Really nice smiles too, genuine ones, not deranged ones.  Especially at the baristas because although I tipped them, I was a snothead and they deserve a smile.
I’m not sure if its safe to turn back on my phone though…  I may wait that one out another hour.
Until next time!
less-cold Courtney

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