I am studying for my ‘last exam’ in my nursing care class. I still have the final, but this is the last normal exam… those tricky poopers.

I feel compelled to share some notes I’ve been reviewing.  These are the little ‘ditties’ I type in class to be sure to remember.  You will see that clearly, they are the most important points to remember.  Ever.

Regarding pressure points on the body: “Pressure ulcers may occur on the heals / back of head / sacrum-coccyx area / and the ‘bow bow’

Regarding acid-base imbalances: “Renal failure causes so much hullaballo”

Regarding ascities: “Ascities is like being pregnant with a big, fat baby in the tummy and its eating all of your albumin.  Nomnomnom. But there’s no baby there.”

Regarding the Chvostek sign for hypocalcemia: “Positive Chvostek’s is like a Russian spy saying to someone he’s not a spy, but then winking at you to say – yes, I’m really a spy.  And I’m super low on Calcium.”

Regarding skin lesions: “The difference b/w primary and secondary skin lesions is that generally, secondary lesions are more gross.”

There you are.  I’m fairly certain that this is all one needs to know about anything.  You are welcome.

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